Choosing Love Over Hate: Teaching Our Kids Compassion in a Hurting World
Some days it feels like the world has gotten meaner. People snap at each other, argue, or just seem rude for no reason. Honestly? It’s exhausting. But I keep reminding myself of this: every single person is human. We all want to be seen, heard, and loved.
I can’t fix the whole world, but I can do my part. I can show my kids that when life gets ugly, we don’t have to add to it. We can choose compassion instead.
The Cookie Story
When my girls were little, a bank teller was incredibly rude to me one day. My girls were stunned, and truthfully, I had every reason to complain. But instead my thoughts were, Nope. I’m not going to feed into this.
So we went home, pulled out the mixing bowls, and baked cookies. The next day, we brought them back to her with a simple, “Thanks for the job you do.”
And you know what? From then on, she was kind to us. Maybe the cookies softened her heart, or maybe she just needed a reminder that kindness still exists. I’ll never know for sure. But I do know this: my kids got to see how responding with kindness instead of bitterness can change the story.
Does it always work out that way? No. Sometimes people stay mean. But even then, kindness is still worth it — because it changes us. It keeps our hearts soft instead of hardened.
Lessons We Forget as Adults
When kids are little, we teach them: “Use your words, not your fists.” We want them to understand that lashing out doesn’t solve anything. But somewhere along the way, many adults forget that lesson. We deal with a lot of stress, emotions can run hot and it’s easy to react before we think.
Sometimes we forget that we don’t have to win every argument. It’s okay to agree to disagree without tearing each other down. Choosing peace doesn’t mean we don’t care, it means we value people more than proving a point.
It’s okay to feel anger, frustration, or sadness but we don’t have to act on those feelings in hurtful ways. Mr. Rogers said it so beautifully: “Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable.”
When we name our feelings and respond thoughtfully, we teach our kids to do the same. Whether in a faith-filled home or a secular one, compassion is always a choice, one that builds strength, resilience, and connection.
What the Bible Says About It
For those of us who look to scripture, the Bible is filled with wisdom on kindness and love:
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“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” — Luke 6:31
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“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32
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“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” — Proverbs 15:1
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“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” — 1 Peter 4:8
Kindness isn’t weakness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean ignoring hurt. And love doesn’t mean letting people walk all over us. It means choosing not to add more hate to a world that already has plenty of it.
Why It’s Worth the Effort
Hate is easy. It takes no effort to be rude back. But love? Love takes courage. It takes self-control to answer with gentleness. It takes humility to forgive. It takes strength to keep showing up with kindness, even when you’re tired.
That’s what I want my kids to see: that love is worth it — even when it’s hard. It might not change every person they meet, but it will shape who they become.
A Little Challenge
I still think about that cookie story. It reminds me that small acts like a smile, a kind word, a plate of cookies — really can make a difference. Not always, but sometimes. And even if it doesn’t change them, it changes us.
So here’s my challenge: what’s one small act of kindness you can do today? Something simple. Something real. Something that reminds the world that love still exists.
Because at the end of the day, that’s what this hurting world needs more of — not more arguments or bitterness, but more love. And it starts with us, right where we are.
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